COVID-19 Humanity Betrayal ㅤ Memory Project

On August 18, 2021, I came home from work not feeling well. On August 20, 2021, my husband, Terry, came home from school not feeling well.  We both took an at-home COVID-19 test and we both tested positive. I lost my taste and smell. He didn’t. His sister is a COVID nurse in Oklahoma, and she told us to get an oximeter and check our oxygen frequently, to stay hydrated and take zinc and vitamin C and vitamin D, and if oxygen gets below 92, to go to the hospital.

Terry had high fevers first few nights and slept a lot.  I kept working, but felt horrible.  We were both really sick for the next 8 days.  Terry slept a lot.  On Saturday morning when we woke up, Terry put oximeter on his finger and sat down in living room.  He said he just felt drained.   His oxygen was at 82, and I reminded him what his sister said.  He went to take a shower, and after he got out, I checked his oxygen and it was at 73, so I took him to Coastal Carolina hospital.

I was not allowed in, plus I too, had COVID, so i dropped him off at the ER.  I stayed in parking lot for awhile then drove home.  I called the hospital, and they said they were releasing him home on oxygen, but I would have to wait for the guy to bring me the oxygen tank to my house, and show me how to use it before I could come pick him up.

In the early afternoon, he came and showed me and my 18 year old son how to use it. We loaded it up in my car and drove back to the hospital to pick up my husband.  A nurse wheeled him out, and we got him in the car and hooked up the oxygen tank.  My husband told me they did nothing for him.  They just stuck him in a room all alone on oxygen.  He said he was so thirsty, and all he asked for was a drink of water.  They gave him nothing.  I asked him why he didn’t text me, and he said he had no reception in the hospital.

As we drove home he said, “Honey, they did not give me any discharge papers.”  I immediately called the hospital and they said, “Oh, sorry we lost his discharge papers, but just watch him on the oxygen.”  Later that evening his oxygen still was only in the high 80s to low 90s, so his sister said to take him to a bigger hospital as he will need more oxygen.

I drove him to Beaufort Memorial Hospital. Once again, I could not go in with him, so we watched him walk into the hospital.  Our son tried to go in with him but was told he couldn’t.  They would not let him bring in the oxygen tank either, so I called them to tell him he needs oxygen. They did not have a room for him for 2 days, and the air conditioning was not working in the ER, so he was sweating very much.

They told him the other hospital should not have sent him home; they should have kept him.  The first doctor I spoke to said, “Your husband is obese, and unvaccinated, and is headed to the ventilator.  You need to talk him into going on the vent as he is refusing to go on it.”  We went round and round, but he kept saying this, and that he should have been vaccinated.  I told him my husband is healthy and walks 5-7miles every day and is a teacher and a coach and never misses work. I asked if he could talk to Terry’s sister since she is a COVID-19 nurse in Tulsa.  I told him he needs fluids and an IV. He said, “IV or oral, its all the same.”  I talked to Terry and he said, “They are not venting me.  I’m getting out of here, and will be home next week.”

I asked him what he wanted me to do.  He said he had no idea.  I said what would you do if it were me in here?  Without missing a beat he said, “I would raise hell!”  I said, “You got it.”  I called the hospital and demanded a new doctor and an advocate for my husband. I told them if not, I want him moved to the VA hospital in Charleston, as he is a Veteran.  They immediately got me on the phone with a new doctor who was very nice.

I called up to the hospital 3-4 times a day to get updates.  I begged them to try ivermectin and the other medicine, and they told me they are no longer using those and that Ivermectin was not FDA approved. I begged to be able to come in to see him, and was told no, visitors are not allowed.  I remember just crying to them to please treat him like he was their husband since he is very important and we have 5 kids and 10 grandkids that all need him.

They kept telling me the vent will help his lungs rest, but Terry refused to go on the vent.  My husband was a very smart man with 2 Master’s degrees, and he taught robotics, computers, medical detective, etc. He did not trust the vent or the vaccinations or the protocols.  I talked to him the entire time he was in there on his cell, and texted with him the entire time until the very evening he was taken to ICU on 9/6/21 at 10:27PM.

I spoke to the nurse and she told me she put him on bi-pap in ICU.  Within a few hours she called me telling me they had to vent him in the middle of the night.  I fell to the floor.  She said she held his hands, explained everything to him, prayed with him, and kissed him on his forehead from me.  She then asked if she could pray for me, and she did over the phone.  She said she would like me and my son to come see him.  I was so happy but thought, why now?  I had been asking daily, and now he is vented.

We went up there first thing in the morning, and had to put on all the gear – double masks, gowns, booties on our shoes, face shields, gloves.  We got to hold his hand and talk to him and we FaceTimed all my other 4 kids, my dad, and his 4 sisters at the same time so we could all see him and talk to him as he layed there on the bed, fully sedated.

I remember, several nurses all at the center station and empty ICU rooms.  I remember, they did not let us stay too long, 20 minutes maybe, and then they took me and my son to a waiting room where 3 or 4 people came in wearing long white coats, telling me how sick my husband was.  I remember telling them my husband is a fighter and very strong and healthy, and God is healing him.  I told them he was a teacher and a coach and that we have 5 kids and 10 grandkids, and we all need him.  They just looked at each other…no sympathy or empathy…I remember, they all seemed just very cold and almost robotic in their actions.  They were not the nurse and doctor I had been talking to.  Dr. Meehan and Casey Moore were both so nice, encouraging, and positive.

Later that night I got a call from the nurse telling me his kidneys were not putting out any fluid, and is it ok to do dialysi?  I said what are the options if I say no?  She said, “He will die,” so I said, “Yes, do it.” She called me back later in the middle of the night telling me his body rejected the dialysis and his organs were shutting down, and there is nothing they can do.  She said they had to shock his heart and will have to keep doing that since it will probably keep happening.  She asked, did I want her to keep shocking his heart?  I said, “Will it save him?”  She said, “No, his organs are shutting down.”  I said. “Then stop shocking him.”  She said okay, well he will probably live about 24 hours.  I remember lying in my bed unable to sleep in absolute shock on what to tell the kids in the morning.  How was all this happening?  He was just texting and talking to me.  I laid there trying to process all that she said.

It was just a few hours later, she called and told me he was gone.  He passed away calmly. I fell to the floor, again, sobbing.  I went and woke my 2 boys and they were in absolute shock too. We each got our phones and called the other 3 kids.

How did this happen? He was young and healthy.  He didn’t smoke, drink, or do drugs. He loved God, his family, and his country.  He worked hard every day and was a light in every setting.  He fed the homeless, was a southern gentleman always, was so giving to everyone, worked hard every day, and would help anyone in need.  He was the life of the party always making everyone laugh.  To know him,  was to love him. He was the best of the best. He was my best friend for 20 years, my soul mate, father to our 5 children, and Pops to our 10 littles.  He promised me he was coming home next week.  He did…he went to our eternal home with Jesus.

After he passed away, I connected with others and they had stories that absolutely mirrored ours. They had a timeline showing, the exact almost to a “T”, the course of events.

After getting his medical records and seeing the same medications and protocol and reading the notes of how angry and frustrated my husband had been with his care and treatment, (those notes were on 9/3/21, the next set of notes had been skipped to 9/7/21, when he was vented). What happened between 9/3 and 9/7?  Because of those missing records, I knew I had to share my husband’s story.