COVID-19 Humanity Betrayal ㅤ Memory Project

My husband of 40yrs told me on August 13 that he thought we might have Covid because he had lost his sense of smell .  I think he felt he was exposed at work by vaxd coworkers who were not feeling well. I think my husband wasn’t feeling too bad at first.  I was sick and sleeping and not sure exactly how he was feeling .   I think at about 5 days in he started to get worse .  He did work from home that week .  By the end of the week (18?) he was a little short of breath .  I asked him if he wanted to go to urgent care or ER, he refused.   It worsened and on the morning of the 23rd I saw that his color wasn’t good and he was struggling .  I told him we had to go to the hospital .
We got to the ER , they wheeled him away.  I didn’t get to hug him or say goodbye or I love you .

He just called out for me to get checked out. I did get checked out and admitted.  While in the ER , I think I heard my husband screaming .  I assume he was treated rudely by the nursing staff .  I was .  His records sound like he was mocked about why he wasn’t vaxd.   Also because he tried to work through this at home.    I know he didn’t want to be vented .  The records show he said no to the vent , but then was convinced to agree if needed.

He was admitted to ICU.  He left me a message saying he was going to ICU and going to be vented.  He was not vented , he was put on a bi-pap. He was given Remdesivir , and other medications . We texted a few times .  I told him I was afraid he would die , he said “I’m not dying”.  I was also admitted, a doctor came in to see me. He said “ You not so bad , you live.”  I asked if he had seen my husband .  He said “ He no good , he no live “.  I was shocked that he would say that’s things . I was concerned that they saw Rich as a dead man walking and they weren’t going to do their best to help him.

On the morning of 8/23/21 Richard coded , he was compressed for 3 minutes and shocked two times.  He was vented. I’m not sure which doctor called .. pulmonary or cardiology. I’m not sure if I ever talked to cardiology. None of the doctors explained a treatment plan. Never communicated about what they were doing or what was going on. The most info I got from a doctor was that Rich was doing good on the vent , the settings were being lowered and they hoped to do breathing challenges .

Hoping to get him off the vent.  But then I talked to the doctor and he said that someone fiddled with the machine.  The settings were getting set higher and Richard started going downhill from then .   Doctors did not speak to me much after that .  I was not told what medications they were giving him .  He was on continuous fentanyl and propofol.  Also given  vecuronium   ( paralytic) at times and eventually continuously.   He was given Barcitinib along with Remdesivir .  Remdesivir for five days, Barcitinib for 11 or so days. These drugs do very little to help and are toxic and kill .  Richard’s kidneys and liver were showing signs of damage.  He was given lasix, he had edema in his body and lungs.

I saw a brief report that at one point there was a lot of air coming out of his mouth .  Was that vent failure ? Was there damage caused?   I wasn’t informed .  I saw that they took him off of a blood thinner because there had been a bleeding issue .. what was it ??  He became anemic overnight (?) .  Not informed .  He was restrained for many days . Not informed .

He was on fentanyl , propofol, paralytic and was still restrained .   Not informed .  The records say they informed me or got consent from me for various things .. they lied they did not get consent or inform me .

Richard seemed to be so heavily sedated and paralyzed , how were his lungs going to have a chance to heal ?  Why was he restrained.   Why did they need to add phenobarbital , Haldol, and medazolam?  They tried and failed to get him off of the vecuronium .. was he addicted ?

I believe that they stopped his feeds because of concern he would aspirate . Not sure if he was getting adequate nourishment.  The reports say he wasn’t .  Don’t know about fluids .
He was given Lasix for edema.  He was put on a rigorous regime for constipation, apparently got diarrhea and they put a rectal pipe in .. not informed.    This whole time was awful for him.  It was agony for me to not know what was going on .  Not being able to see him . Being told he’s terrible and not improving.

I asked for Richard to be given ivermectin , doctor said he would ask infectious Dr . But he would go no further .   I asked for ivermectin again, Dr said it was like HCQ , and we know what a joke that was.  I asked if they could give him ivermectin under the right to try .. dr said  “NO , he had taken an oath to do no harm”,  they were killing him.  Denied any effective treatment .  Only given the cookie cutter, mandated protocol.  Nothing else.   They knew the vents killed .  They blow out the lungs .  Rich’s lungs got to that point.   Or so I was told.

I received a call from palliative care, she said my husbands heart was not good and that he would probably code .  Then she was almost screaming at me saying “ do you want us to pound on his chest and hurt him, do you want us to shock him and send electricity through his body .. do you ? Is that what you want ??””  She was nasty and was bullying me to consent to a DNR .

I was astounded that someone would talk to me like that. I did consent because I was told his lungs were bad , gases were bad, heart was maybe going to fail.  Then she started talking about letting him die.   I told her I needed time , needed to talk to family , talk to pastor .. needed to pray.   I did not want Rich to code again, I didn’t want him to die alone .  I agreed to take him off of the vent.  Palliative said I could not be with him.. because fear of community spread.  Really ???   The nurses allowed my daughter and I to be there .

As we went in all I could say was “oh Richard , what have they done to you ?”   Tears rolled down his cheeks.  He heard me .. but the nurse jumped in front of me and shot something into his IV .. she was careful to say it wasn’t morphine . Still looking for that in the records.  But I feel like she euthanized him right in front of us .  There was no more response from him after that.   My Richard was swollen , his eyes were popping out of his head . The kids couldn’t even close .

His tongue  was hanging out and his jaw was frozen to the right .  Apparently they didn’t rotate placement of the tube? Med had about 20 minutes and then they took out the tube. Took 20-30 minutes for him to die.   The nurse called it at about 4:08.. but I still saw rhythmic peaks on the heart monitor .   She turned the monitor around and just said it was electrical activity . ???

After the fact I saw in the records that they were working to lower the vent settings so that they could trach him .  I was not informed .. if so , was his heart really a concern ? Was I lied to?   Why didn’t a cardiologist call me to talk about his heart and if it was failing or not , before palliative screeched at me and pushed ending his life.   I saw a note saying they would consider a stent at some point .   What happened ??  I feel like he was treated like his life didn’t matter.  They did whatever they wanted , it didn’t matter . His life did matter.

He was my love and my husband of almost 41 yrs.  He was the father of three and a poppy to eight grandchildren.   He was well respected and liked by his co-workers.  He had earned several awards , was promoted.  He received  posthumously an award for mentorship , and the award was renamed the Richard Eaton Mentorship award .   He impacted lives.  Almost every person who came through the line at his service told me how kind he was , friends and co-workers alike.   He was a very kind man.

He loved his Lord and savior , Jesus .  He loved his neighbor , he love his family and he loved me.  Richard went to work every day, he worked that whole last week and went into the hospital on Saturday.   I feel he was mocked and belittled.  I am very sad and angry , he did not need to die . We did not need to go through this horror .  This was the most evil, wicked, heartless thing  that I have ever experienced .

I am traumatized . My heart is broken , I am broken ..my life is turned upside down .   I am trying to live on a very diminished income.  Trying to make decisions alone .. this is very hard and hurts more than I can bear .  Only by the grace of God am I able to stand.

They lied , and so many died needlessly .  So many of us trying to put our lives back together.  To just survive .   So many questions .. we all carry guilt for not saving them and regrets that we brought them to the hospital for help and only found death .